ROOT GIRL (Detailed)

MY OWN PERSONAL REFLECTIONS

So why did this oracle card cause so much discomfort within me?

The mere mention of failure can send many a shiver down my spine. My perceived lack of x, y and z has at times been very overwhelming in my life. Raised in an environment where we must be picture perfect at all times, never allowing the truth of a situation to be seen through fear of ruining the facade. Don’t be yourself, it’s not serving the picture of who we need or want to be. Just dim your light a little, even more, it’s too bright still. Slowly you start to fade into the background simply to be accepted, allowed to still be part of the picture… at the time you don’t quite understand what you are doing. You simply want to be included, to stay on the inside of the circle, be it family or even friends. However, without knowing it, you are bit by bit rejecting the very essence of who you are, who you came here to be. You become the person that your external environment will accept, want to interact with. You start becoming a master of disguise, creating mask after mask, always adapting and ensuring acceptance from the people, situation, environment in which you live. 

For myself, I buried my true essence under so many masks that I had no idea who I was anymore. Even the slightest comment or judgement against me could spin up a new mask. I became so lost that I had no idea who I was let alone understand how I had reached this point.  Worst of all was not knowing how on earth I could get back to that essence that arrived on the day of my birth. 

Root Girl is a message from the universe that it is time. It is time to come into full acceptance of yourself. The loved and unloved parts of who you have become. To wake up to the fact that you have been rejecting / apologising for aspects of yourself that were deemed unacceptable by others. To find the strength and courage to become whole again and to start the journey of becoming your true authentic self. 

It is an invitation that I ignored on several occasions for a multitude of reasons. Mainly, it boiled down to the fact that I was scared. Scared of what I would learn about myself. Scared of seeing aspects of myself that I complain about in others. Would I even like myself and how on earth would I be able to accept, let alone love these parts of me that I have so willingly rejected for so long. 

But one day, I was brave enough and I was no longer afraid of the card. I could see the lesson and freedom for which the invitation was intended. Does this mean that I have now integrated Root Girl and am living a life of joy, bliss and freedom. No, not yet. But I am now much nicer to myself. I do understand that I am in the process of returning to who I really am. No, it’s not a pretty journey and there are many tears involved. However, every tear that I shed for Root Girl, helps to dissolve one more mask and is one more tiny step back home to myself.